Read this article published in Infobébés and Infocrèche magazines in July 2012.

From the very first hours of life, your child discovers and rediscovers his face through the mirrors, photographs and videos that surround him. We adults can easily recognize ourselves in these objects, which are part of our daily lives. But what about our little ones?

« Argh! Is this my head? Cracked hair, dark circles around the eyes, pale complexion… After a terrible sleepless night spent putting Baby back to sleep one after the other, we sometimes wake up not recognizing ourselves in the mirror! Welcome to the daily lives of overworked, exhausted moms! And yet, it’s hard for us to imagine that there was a time when we didn’t recognize our reflection in the mirror. For as long as we can remember, all we had to do to see ourselves was open our eyes in front of a mirror. However, identifying our own image is far from self-evident, as recognizing ourselves requires first and foremost knowing ourselves. And we only know our face through the mirrors, photos and videos that surround us. For your little one, recognizing himself will take some time, and will mark a key stage in the construction of his identity.

Mirror: who is this beautiful baby who does everything like me?

Faced with a mirror, your little one has to solve two mysteries: Who is it? Then, is it another baby or my own reflection? From 6 to 15 months, your little one addresses his reflection as if it were another child separated from him by a pane of glass: he smiles at it, kisses it, pats it, caresses it, tries to catch it. His whole little body comes alive, ready to make contact with this stranger! But before long, his gestures collide with the ice, which stops him in his tracks… Through comparisons and back-and-forth gazing, between the dad in the mirror and the dad in the room, for example, your child will come to understand that « everything comes in pairs ». But that’s not all.  » I feel that my little Stefano has been experimenting for some time now: he sticks his mouth on the mirror, shakes his head from left to right, babbles, waves his hands, then… he stops abruptly!  » testifies Nathalie, mother of Stefano, 12 months. What does this stop mean? The child begins to grasp that there is a synchronization between his body and the body « opposite », and that the mirror doesn’t really work like a pane of glass! At around 15-20 months, your little one’s attitude towards the mirror becomes ambivalent, divided between fascination and avoidance. He increasingly stands still, keeping his distance, his gaze attentive. The systematic and simultaneous imitation of his every move begins to seem… very suspicious! Then he begins to feel that the movements he feels in his body are identical to those he perceives in the mirror: he touches his foot, then looks at his foot in the mirror; he touches his stomach, then looks at his stomach. That’s it, he recognizes himself! The mystery of the mirror is finally solved. From the age of two, or even two and a half, your child’s attitude towards the mirror becomes completely different: he dresses up in Daddy’s hat, tries on the new overalls given to him by Auntie, admires his hair all tousled by the bath water. In short, he enjoys his reflection, which he now feels in control of… But just because your little one recognizes himself in a mirror doesn’t mean he can identify himself in a photo. That’s a different kettle of fish!

Put it to the test!

Use your lipstick to discreetly draw a large, clearly visible red dot on one of your little darling’s cheeks, without him noticing. And watch his reaction… Is he trying to catch the red dot by touching the mirror? For the moment, he’s not aware of the relationship between the reflection of his face and his own face. Or is he shaking his head in puzzlement as he feels his own face? So he begins to grasp that this enigmatic red dot is on his own face, not someone else’s. Or he touches the dot on his face in less than ten seconds? He’s unmasked the deception! There’s no doubt in his mind: it’s his own face in the mirror!

In the photo, I recognize Mom and Dad first!

Even before he gave you his first smile, your little Nathan was already a star, photographed from every angle by a flock of budding paparazzi. So much so that none of his facial expressions escaped the watchful eye of a lens! From an early age, you presented him with freshly taken photographs and showed him who they were. Then you quickly put him to the test: « Who’s that? How about there? But while the recognition of oneself in a photograph comes at the same age as for the mirror, it doesn’t involve the same stakes for him. In a photograph, the image is immobile, which hinders identification. Your little darling can’t compare the movements of his body with those he perceives. On the other hand, because the image is so small and motionless, your child is more likely to suspect that it’s not real. One thing’s for sure, though: photos are sure to arouse your little one’s interest and curiosity. From as early as 10-15 months, your child will be exploring photography and the digital camera itself: touching them, turning them over, with a curious gaze. Later, it’s the other way around! Your child will focus more on the little people in the pictures. In fact, by 10-12 months, your little one will be able to identify the people around him: mom, dad, grandma, grandpa… It takes longer for him to identify himself, between 15 and 22 months.

And for that matter, do the clothes he’s wearing in the photo and the presence of his parents make it easier for him to identify himself? To answer this question, a team of psychology researchers conducted the following experiment: they presented a child with fake photos in which he is present, but not wearing his own clothes, and surrounded by adults who are not his parents. Does he recognize himself? Yes, and very quickly, focusing solely on his own face. So deception doesn’t hinder identification – quite the contrary! At around 4 years of age, the child is even able to point out the deception and reproaches the adult for having exchanged his clothes and his own parents… with those of another child! The verdict? In a family photo, and at a certain age, the presence of the parents would capture too much of the child’s attention, and he would no longer be able to focus enough attention on his own face to identify himself.

Put it to the test!

Place your child’s portrait on a table, surrounded by portraits of other unknown children of the same age and gender. Then ask him to recognize himself: « Where is Antoine? Does he point to the right photo? Bingo!

Video: and it moves!

But traditional family photos aren’t as good as precious vacation videos, collections of so many fond memories! Yes, video offers children a double visual experience, even different from that offered by the mirror and the photo. Your little one raises his right arm? In the mirror, he sees his left arm raised on the right side of the mirror (because there’s symmetry), while in the video, he sees his right arm raised on the left side of the screen (because there’s inversion). In short, the image in the video is quite similar to that in the mirror, with the exception of the left-right inversion. What’s more, the brightness of the screen and the movement of the characters on it are sure to capture your little one’s attention. He’s literally a fan of all the new technologies that broadcast these funny images! It seems that children identify themselves on a live video at the same time as on a mirror, i.e. between 15 and 22 months, when self-awareness emerges. It takes another two or three months for a child to recognize himself in a video that’s been delayed for a few days. And another two or three months for a later video, a few months old! This is because purely visual cues are less conducive to recognition than that famous sensation between movements performed and movements perceived. In other words, your little darling needs to feel things in his little body to be able to grasp them better.

Put it to the test!

Show your child a relatively recent video in which he appears among other children he’s not used to being around. At the park, for example. And put him to the test: « Where is Leo? If he points to the right child, you’ve won!

As you can see, between 15 and 24 months of age, your little darling will be able to recognize his own little face, whether his visual double is small or large, mobile or static, deformed or not, in two or three dimensions. By then, he will have internalized his own image. An internal image, permanent and unchanging, that will enable him to recognize himself, despite the passage of time and the evolution of his physical appearance. In short, everything he needs to ensure his continued sense of existence and encourage him to stand on his own two feet!

Making your face your own – that’s what it’s all about!

To better understand how a young child feels about his or her own image, imagine a woman in her forties who has just had a nose job. Over time, she will have to learn to identify her new face, to make it her own. Faced with a mirror or a photo, she will spontaneously think that this face, so foreign to her, will be that of another woman. She’ll need time to adapt and learn… just like a toddler!

Times change, and so do babies!

It would seem that today’s children recognize themselves earlier in photos and videos than their elders of fifteen years ago. The reason? The ever-earlier manipulation of new technologies and their own image, not to mention an education more focused on awakening and individualizing the child.

Audrey Vidal, clinical psychologist, Paris.