Read this article published on the Sciences Humaines website.

Humor plays a key role in our lives! Not only does it help us cope with the stresses of everyday life, it also helps us connect with our fellow human beings, especially if it hits the mark. What then predicts a good sense of humor – the ability to make your audience perceive the funny and unusual aspects of a reality?

For some researchers, it’s all a question of self-esteem and narcissism (understood as an individual’s love of self). People with high self-esteem would have a particularly well-adapted and appreciated sense of humor (fine, pertinent jokes directed at themselves or others). Conversely, people with lower self-esteem would have an inappropriate and awkward sense of humor (aggressive, self-deprecating jokes). These « bad humorists » would be more shy, or even depressed. Other researchers have gone a step further and questioned people’s actual ability to laugh at themselves (considered the most difficult level of humor to achieve). Their verdict? People in a good mood and with a certain joie de vivre are the most likely to be able to laugh at themselves, and thus accept their shortcomings and weaknesses.

So what about the role of humor in the early stages of our relationships? During the first few dates, a man would tend to charm a woman by trying to be funny, while the woman would spend part of this time assessing her suitor’s humorous potential. A woman’s interest in a man would then increase tenfold if the man’s jokes hit the mark! And that’s not all: once this initial seduction phase is over, humor continues to play a major role among young couples. Other studies suggest that the satisfaction of a couple’s relationship rests mainly on the reciprocal appreciation of humor by both partners on a daily basis.

Virgil Zeigler-Hill and Avi Besser, « Humor style mediates the association between pathological narcissism and self-esteem », Personality and Individual Differences, vol. L, no. 8, June 2011.

Christopher J. Wilbur and Lorne Campbell, « Humor in romantic contexts: Do men participate and women evaluate? », Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, vol. XXXVII, no. 7, July 2011