Emilie*, psychologist, testifies: « When he was 5, my son said to me one day: ‘That’s it, I know what I want to be when I grow up! – Great, tell me, » I replied. – Psychologist! [A small moment of pride. He wants to be just like his mom, I thought. Before he added] « Then we’ll both be doing nothing! While the profession of psychologist conjures up a multitude of images, thoughts and (above all) preconceived ideas in our adult minds, it’s a different story with children. For them, the term psychologist remains a profession with a particularly convoluted name and a profoundly abstract role. « A profession must be experienced to be understood by a child.

The fact that the psychologist has a name that is difficult to pronounce doesn’t make things any easier and makes the profession even more blurred! » says Josette Serres, PhD in developmental psychology, research engineer at the CNRS, specialized in the cognitive development of infants, and co-author of « Early childhood: (Re)constructing practices thanks to neuroscience » (Chronique Sociale, 2015). Laurianne*, a psychologist, shares the fruit of her first exchange with a 7-year-old patient: « Do you know what a psychologist is? – No! » he replies. So you’ve got to tell me what I’m supposed to do, otherwise we’re going to waste time!

A doctor like no other

The label « doctor » is by far the one most often used by children, and no doubt by their parents too. Caroline Davanzo, a clinical psychologist practicing in day-care centers and at home in Seine-Saint-Denis (93), confirms: « The youngest children initially see me as a kind of doctor. When they ask me ‘Are you a doctor?’, I tell them that I treat the aches and pains that can occur in the head when you’re sad, unhappy, anxious… ». However, « the perception of the curative aspect of the psychologist requires a great deal of experience of the adult world. Gradually, the child will come to understand that some adults take care of bodily problems, while others deal with those of the soul. Identifying organic problems is already complicated for children, so let’s not talk about psychological ones, » stresses Josette Serres. Let’s face it, if teenagers are showing a better understanding of the profession, the task is no less daunting for all that. Marion*, a psychologist, tells us that, when asked « Do you know what my job is? », a teenager replies: « Well, you’re a shrink, we talk to you and you help us. But you know, I don’t want anyone to help me!

An adult who knows how to keep secrets

Céline Simon-Schecroun, a clinical psychologist working on her own in Paris and a lecturer at the Paris Descartes Institute of Psychology, makes it clear to the child that « whatever is said here, stays here », and that she won’t repeat it, « not even to his parents ». While the curative aspect of the psychologist’s work is hard to grasp for the youngest children, the prospect of professional secrecy is particularly well grasped. « Children are often amazed that with me, they can have real secrets, say things without it being repeated to Mom or Dad. They usually understand this principle of confidentiality quite quickly, which is the key to our relationship, » says Caroline Davanzo. Psychologist Sophia* tells us: « A 10-year-old patient begged his mother to come and see a ‘lady of secrets’… Which has become my nickname ever since he came to see me!

An adult with a place in the child’s heart

Once the therapeutic relationship has begun, it’s not unusual for the psychologist to occupy a key place in the child’s life and heart. « If the psychologist is competent, caring and a good listener, he or she will become a trusted confidant. The child will want to confide in him or her, without even realizing that he or she is getting better, » notes Josette Serres. As Caroline Davanzo explains, the children feel that she is « halfway between adult helper and friend, the person who devotes special attention to them, just for them ». According to attachment theory, if the child is secure, this new adult who answers to the name of psychologist (or PISIchologist or SPIchologist for the more creative…) should seem reassuring.

On the other hand, if the relationship is not secure, it may be more difficult to build trust, and the child will enter the psychologist’s office with a degree of resistance, more or less strong.  » In this case, any adult outside the child’s circle is likely to frighten him from the outset, whether it’s the workman doing the housework, the next-door neighbor knocking on the door or the psychologist seeing him for a consultation… We can only hope that the psychologist is competent and helps the child to overcome this resistance and enter into a relationship of trust! » points out Josette Serres. To help create this bond of trust, Alexia Dudouet, a clinical psychologist working in an oncology unit at the Simone Veil hospital in Montmorency, usually shows her young patients the drawings on the wall during their first consultation, explaining that other children like them have already been here.

An adult to whom the child shows attachment

That said, if the attachment context is favorable, the psychologist can very quickly become a secondary attachment figure for the child. The many manifestations of this attachment vary from one little patient to another: « I currently have a little girl at home who, as soon as I start putting my pen away (a sign that the consultation is coming to an end), prevents me from leaving by blocking the door. At the same time, she asks me to find the secret code! What’s more, when the last session arrives, some of the children invent anything and everything to keep me with them. Clearly, it’s hard for them to let me go… » testifies Caroline Davanzo.

Gabriela Bustos Gallardo, clinical psychologist in her Paris practice and at the CMPP in Suresnes, mentions the following We’re always happy to send « gifts », little cards, drawings full of hearts or simply a whispered « thank you » as we say goodbye… « . She adds: « One day, a 10-year-old boy – whom I’ve been following for 2 years – said to me: « You know, I think I’ll be coming to see you for a long time… – Really? And what makes you say that? I asked him – Well, I like talking to you, it helps me… I’m going to come until I’m 18 to finish school properly!. Céline Simon-Schecroun adds: « Parents often tell me that when their children are old enough, they talk about me between sessions, which seems to reassure them. She continues:  » I’ve also had a 7-year-old girl shout « I hate you! » at me, which in her case was very liberating and beneficial for the continuation of her therapy ».

How psychologists explain their profession to children

Given the vagueness of their profession, how do psychologists introduce themselves to their little patients? To those who ask her what her job is, Caroline Davanzo replies: « My great job is to make children happier than they already are. This answer usually makes them smile! That said, » adds the psychologist, « some children still regard me as a kind of doctor, since last week a little girl I’ve been following for 6 months said to me: ‘I’ve followed your cuddling prescription! As for Céline Simon-Schecroum, she describes herself as the « lady of worries », the idea being to « leave everything that’s unpleasant in this room (her practice) so that they can leave lighter, as if liberated ». Alexia Dudouet testifies: « I regularly meet children who are coping with the death of their parents or grandparents. I usually introduce myself as someone you can talk to about what’s on your mind, because sometimes it’s easier to talk to a stranger than to your mom ». For her part, Gabriela Bustos Gallardo presents herself as the person who offers children « a space of their own, to be able to say what’s going on inside them, to build things up, but also to destroy what hinders them from moving forward ».

When adults’ prejudices interfere with children’s eyes

It’s not uncommon for the way adults perceive the psychologist to influence the child’s own representation, and thus hinder the creation of a bond of trust.  » I once heard a teacher whisper to her pupil: « You have to tell the psychologist the truth, because he has the power to read your mind! There’s nothing like that to make the child apprehensive about this strange and dangerous character, who risks making him lose his secret garden! Caroline Davanzo testifies: « There have been times, at the child-parent drop-in center where I work, when parents have said to their child: « Careful, if you go on, Caroline will get angry! » I think some powerless parents are trying to set limits through me… ». Céline Simon-Schecroum also testifies: « A 9-year-old once told me that I was the lady who was going to take away his fears, something his mother had told him beforehand. Another asked me if I could read his mind. On several occasions, a child asked me if I was a magician ». Gabriela Bustos Gallardo notes that the fear of seeing a psychologist is especially prevalent among older children and teenagers, for whom the myth that « psychologists are for lunatics » is still very much alive. Laurianne*, a psychologist on Reunion Island, has experienced this same reference to madness thousands of kilometers from mainland France: « When I was doing my internship, a 10-year-old patient who had been receiving treatment for several months said to his psychologist (in Creole): ‘Madame, I’m not crazy anymore, we can stop now!

Step by step, the child builds his own representation

Analysis by Josette Serres, PhD in developmental psychology, research engineer at CNRS, specialized in infant cognitive development, co-author of « Early childhood: (Re)constructing practices thanks to neuroscience » (Chronique Sociale, 2015).

« The way a child perceives a profession is based on his or her own representations of the adult world, on known models that serve as a sort of reference point. If the child’s pediatrician refers him to a psychologist, the child will tend to associate the latter with the medical world, seeing the psychologist as a kind of doctor. On the other hand, if it’s his teacher, the child is likely to relate to the school world: the psychologist will be a kind of schoolteacher with whom you talk and draw pictures. In fact, associating the psychologist with either of these two models may give rise to some misgivings on the part of the child: while the doctor may give painful injections, the schoolteacher subjects her pupils to assessments and sometimes awards bad marks!

At the same time, this initial image of the psychologist will be supplemented by the adults’ own image, or rather the way (more or less positive) in which they have presented the practitioner to him. After that, the child’s perception of the psychologist will become more refined with each visit: he or she will realize that the psychologist is not a doctor, nor a teacher, but someone else, with his or her own specific characteristics.

The child may not be aware that the psychologist can help him psychologically until he’s 7 or 8, simply because he’s not necessarily aware that he’s not doing well. Before that age, they may perceive the psychologist as an adult who cares for them, who understands them, someone they can trust. Let’s imagine that a child is having trouble sleeping and that, since consulting a psychologist, things are going better. The child won’t necessarily make the connection between his nights and his visits to the psychologist. « 

To children’s ears, it’s a…

PYchologist

PISIchologist

SPYchologist

SIchologist

PTITE-chologue

A few words from children about the profession of psychologist[i].

« He’s a head doctor, he makes invisible bandages to heal people’s heads ».

« He connects brain wires like a plumber ».

« A PYchologist doesn’t do anything all day, he just listens to people! »

« I went to see the PISIchologist »

« He’s the one who heals with words, the plasticine doctor, the doctor of worries ».

« The SPYcologist, he makes people deplete! »

« But what you’re doing here, listening to me like this, is that your real job? »

« You listen and hide all the children’s secrets in your office ».

« With you, we turn poop into chocolate! »

« You, your job is to think about what kids think? »

« Auntie, she doesn’t do anything all day, she just listens to people ».

« He’s a doctor for talking

« You actually connect the brain wires like a plumber? »

« Ah yes, you’re going to cure me with words ».

« You need big ears like elephants… Because there’s a lot to hear… »

« You’re the auntie of worries. We tell you and then they’re out of our heads ».

« You’re a plasticine doctor ».

« You’re an archaeologist, I think you’re looking for stuff. »

« But what you’re doing here listening to me like this, is this your real job or are you doing this for free? »

« You listen and hide all the children’s secrets in your office ».

« Did you do a good job, Mom? Did you listen to people cry and then getsad? »

« With you, we turn all the poop into chocolate ice cream ».

« You’re a bit of a worry doctor »

« My mom makes invisible bandages to heal people’s heads ».

« Shall we go to the talking doctor? »

« In fact, you fix hearts… »

« Can you read minds? »

« I don’t like coming to see you. There’s no point, but I like you. »

« You’re the doctor of headaches… »

« In fact, your job is useless… Why are you doing this? »

« What do you do as a SYchologist? That’s for crazy people! »

« She’s not a petty-chologist, she’s a grand-chologist! »

« You’re the lady who helps us grow ».

« You got my nightmares out of my head… In fact you’re a magical fairy! »

« You read my mind. You’ve got me under your spell! »

« I note that the verb « to listen » comes up very often, as does anything to do with language. Listening seems to be the main trait of the psychologist, in the eyes of the children. I wonder: if some parents took more time to listen to their children and answer their questions, wouldn’t that replace sessions with the psychologist? » asks Josette Serres.

* Testimonies collected on the Internet, via the page « La psy contre-attaque ».

[i] Many thanks to the subscribers of the Facebook page « La psy contre-attaque » for their invaluable contributions!